So I had an insight. Is it obviuos? I feel kind of silly for not realizing it before. But I didn’t. Here it is: when I was frustrated during sex because I thought I didn’t/couldn’t have an orgasm, I was actually experiencing valley orgasms. Which are just different from peak orgasms. I was expecting a peak, I was trying to get my body to peak, i was pushing myself, instead of relaxing in the experience, completely enjoying what I had. Why have expectations, why try to force it, why have the mind interfere? Just be open and enjoy. You were having a lot more orgasms than you thought. Now you can practise circulating this energy through the entire body. Love you. You are just discovering yourself – how exciting. But I’m 35 years old, shouldn’t I have discovered it already? Just relax and go with the flow. Before you learned different lessons, now the fun starts. Be glad that you are discovering it. That you didn’t live your life in darkness(self imposed). Be glad that it’s not too late. Be love, be light.
Insights December 21, 2009