Goddess Rhianna's Blog

Becoming a tantrica

Procrastinating December 19, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — goddessrhianna @ 10:51 pm

 I’m not practicing – why is it I’m avoiding my piano. I used to crave my piano time, I used to play an hour every day. I couldn’t stop. Why don’t I do it now? Why do I come with so many other things to do and try to avoid thinking about it. Why do I set a deadline, saying that I’d play at 9 for 30 minutes, and then it’s 9, 9:30, 10 – and I still haven’t played. And then it’s too late, I’m too sleepy, and it’s no point to practice anyway. Why do I do that? Or I practice for 10 minutes and think it’s enough and then I wonder why I don’t progress as fast anymore. I was so happy with my progress. Why am I doing it? Am I hitting a plateau? Am I plainly procrastinating? Am I avoiding it? And most importantly, what am I going to do about it? I want to play. I want to play so much. There is only one way to learn – practice. What do I want to do? Leave alone, it’s pretty silly to pay a teacher weekly and practice 10 minutes a day.   I might as well do it on my own. I just hope this spell will pass and I’ll be back to 1 hour practice. All on it’s own. I really don’t want to put any efforts into it right now. Why? What’s wrong? Am I going to quit? Do I want to quit and call it an end? No, no, I don’t want to quit. I’m just too tired to think about it right now. I’m sleep deprived. I’m doing so many things at the same time. I want to read so many book, I want to write, I want to dance. And I go to bed so late, I’m so tired the next day, and I’m not too happy about it all. And it goes day by day and so I’m running within this circle and not sure how to break it. Well, it’s easy – 1) make a deal to go to bed early. By 10. (I’m up before 6 a.m., so to get enough sleep I need to go to bed by 10.)  2)  Practice 30 minutes a day – before you do anything else. Before, not after. 3) Use the best practices to make most progress at this time. 4) go a step back and play something easy to build confidence and to see your progress. And do it!!!!

P.S. So I did it. I went and practiced and I lost time, and now it’s 12…. Need to sleep. But I loved my practice, everything is coming together so nicely.

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