Goddess Rhianna's Blog

Becoming a tantrica

Goddess Feast December 17, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — goddessrhianna @ 10:59 am

Yesterday we have our Goddess feast. Oh how much I love my Goddess group. As our final time for the season we feast: there is oh so delisious food, wine, great desert, neck massages and foot rubs, sparkles, conversation, presents, and the best Christmas tree you’ve ever seen  – I love that tree. (need to have a picture of it – but the picture doesn’t show how delightful that tree actually is. YOu should see the birds… and the shoes…) This is a true Goddess Gathering – open hearts, love, kindness, openess, complete acceptance – just the way you are. This is our motto: Noone is broken, noone needs to be fixed. We are free to show up the way we are – at this moment. To wear what we want to. To be how we want to be.

I’ve been going to Goddess for 2.5 years now. It truly has changed my life. There is no doubts about it. But it feels impossible to describe why and what it is we were doing there. There were practices, there were teachings and conversations, there was wine (I don’t drink) and chocolate. There was love. And there were women liek I’ve never met bofore. I wanted to be like them when I grow up.  The Goddess who tought us was able to light the room with her love and light. I never knew you can live like that. This is where I first learned how beautiful every woman is if we only let the light to shine through us. This is where I learned how beautiful sex is. All these things that maybe I knew intellectually, I absolutely felt in my heart, I felt that it is the truth.

We built beautiful connection witht he women who took the workshop and we continue to get together every two weeks for 2 and a half years. This is the women cirlce that every woman needs(if she knows it or not) and we are lucky to have it. We need it to recharge, to be with the feminine energy, to be ourselves. Every time I come home trasformed after the meeting, I come in my best feminine goddessy spirit. My husband loves it when it’s Goddess night – it makes me miss him, want him, crave him. The feminie energy in me is overflowing, it want a release. I want to be taken, to be claimed by my man, I want to give. Yes, my cup is full and I want to give. I want him to see my light, I want him to feel my love.

We start with a sharing circle. The beauty and the simplicity of it that we can talk freely about anything we need to talk, without any comments form others. All they are allowed to say is “thank you” when they understand what you are talking about. There is no discussion.It’s only about you at that moment. The others are listening. Listening with an intent to understand. They don’t think of what they will say, or comment on how something like that has happend to them – it’s not about them, it’s about you. This is the highest form of listening, andit’s beautiful. And there is love and acceptance, and we are free to be ourselves. When one woman is complete, the next one will talk until the circle is complete. Then we do practices – it couls be dance, it could me a meditation, it could be dyads(more about dyads later), we learn how to open to love, how to open to pelasure, how to share it with the world, we learn the truth about orselves. We rejoice in the feminine spirit.

We all come from differnt backgrounds, religions, families. We all go through different stages in our life – divorce, pregnancy, childbirth, (I was even lucky to bring my newborn child to the meetings and he’d just sleep or brestfeed through it), changes of work, careers, finding new love, moving, traveling, death, betrayal. Some women move on and some new ones come in. Some try but run away, some stay, some never ever miss a session and some get lost and then show up and it’s like they never left. We are all growing and we are all learning to bring our light to the world. To be a Goddess. We come to the cirlce feeling sad or happy, crying or laughing, but it never fails to make us feel better at the end of it.

And there are the hugs – it would be worth it just becuase of the hugs – there is something so beautiful and so missin in real life, so authentic and loving – long embraces we exchange with each other. Ther is a reason they say we need 4 hugs a day for survival. It changes your state so easily. Ahhhh, you relax into love, you relah into openness, you bariers melt, you masks that you wear in the world desappear, you are coming back to yourself.  I love my circle so much, it’s one of the best things that ever happened to me.

We try to practice it in real life, bring it to the world. Is it easy? No, it isn’t. Even in my own family, it’s still hard to do. Why? Why can I be myself in my circle – but ther is no judgement, there is no worries, there is compelte acceptance. Isn’t it like this at home? The funny thing, that it’s all in my head – most of the things the stops me form being my highest self – it’s the comments in my mind, little critical statements that keep showing up. We judge ourselves first and then we think other are too – wheather they do or not. Why does it matter? Why are we so afraid of judjements of others?

I”m asking this questions – and it only now I realized that I do have all answers. I do not need to find them in the books anymore. Once I realized that I wanted to teach and to share it with world. Not my answers – they are true for me – at this moment; and they might not be true for you. But that we don’t need to do anything, we don’t have to change anything. Everything is perfect as it is right now. Now is perfect – if you are open to it. If you are connected to the spirit.

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